The bloom is not off the effing rose
I am so very tired.
No, I am not tired because my metabolism is slowing down or I’m not sleeping well, because my arteries are clogged or my joints are inflamed or my mind is foggy. (In fact, none of this is true.) I am not tired because, gee, isn’t this what “naturally” happens when you age?
No, I am not tired because I am getting older. I am tired because I carry the weight of our culture’s expectations about what “getting older” means. And that weight is heavy. And that weight is making me weary.
I am betting you carry this burden too. That you were once sort of pleased with comments like, “wow, it’s so impressive that you’re doing that” (the unspoken subtext being: at your age). But now you hear that subtext. You hear it loud and clear. And you’re tired of being “the exception that proves the rule,” the over 50, over 60, over 70 year old who…wait for it…is active and productive and sparky, who takes on new challenges and seeks out adventures, who is curious and engaged and full of energy and vitality.
I am not the exception. You are not the exception. We are the rule.
And the bloom is not off the fucking rose.
7 comments
Ah, but it’s all relative, Lauren. My 60ish body can jog 5 miles while my brain reminds me that my mom at 60 had more than a half a dozen grandchildren–the oldest was 14. Mom was into the prototypical grandparenting–baking cookies and sewing doll clothes. She seldom did more than a leg lift for exercise. Expectations of what older persons can and should be are shifting gradually along with life expectancy. It won’t be long before 60 can truly be considered middle age.
I was at a wedding this past weekend. An 80 year old woman joined the youngsters on the dance floor and she was fluid and lovely and looked years younger than her age. We learned that she “still” bikes 10 miles daily and lifts weights. I am waiting for the day when people say “what’s the big deal” about that because everyone is doing it.
So, Lauren, it could be worse. Instead of being tired, it could be twenty years ago and then we would have had one foot in the grave. 20 years ago we really WOULD have been the exception. It won’t be long before we can get everyone believing that we are the rule.
Agreed, Gayle. Much has changed and we are contributing right now to more change.
Whoa, you go, Lauren! And yes, the bloom is NOT off the fucking rose. Ask my two granddaughters who couldn’t do two hours of rehearsal for Thriller flashmob, and I could. I’m still flirting and being heard. I’m still pushing ahead through our culture’s ridiculous obsession with youth as the apex. Throw that damned baggage away! I know you’re above that shit! When friends complain of their bodies falling apart, say, “Hey, I’m celebrating the loss of periods, PMS, birthing, and being felt up on a bus (without my permission). Hugs!
Yes yes and yes again, Valerie.
Great thoughts, Gayle and Valerie – my favorite takeaway is Valerie’s last sentence!
I’ve been contemplating a custom license-plate holder that says “Happiness is being past the ‘pause”
🙂
I love being surrounded by women (and men) who are breaking down the stereotypes of aging. How long before we can stop saying that? Because I’m starting to think the new stereotype is an active, vibrant and engaged life that does not end when one reaches a certain age, but rather when one stops breathing (permanently, not because we are holding our breath and looking at the life under the lake surface).
Right on and write on!!
You are one of those women, Colleen. I think we have to just go on being who we are and doing what we do. But making some NOISE every once in a while helps too!
Leave a Comment