What not to do

You already know the grand trifecta of avoidable age-promoting, illness-enhancers, the short what not to do list: 1. Don’t smoke. 2. Don’t sit around on your butt. 3. Don’t eat junk. Also: Please please don’t fall for any product, therapy or treatment that sounds too good to be true. (It is.)

Now here’s some fresh advice, especially for mid-life and beyond:

Don’t use your chronological age as an excuse for not living a vibrant, full engaged life.
Have you heard yourself (or a friend/ colleague) say: “I’m getting too old to…” “I’m just slowing down…” “Of course I’m tired, I’m x years old now. All I can say is: Tell it to Jimmy Carter, who will be 90 this fall. Did you see him on the Colbert Report a few nights ago? Damn. I mean, damn. That guy is doing more in and for the world than any dozen people who clock in a half-century younger. Or take note of Deborah Szekely, a 92-year-old whirlwind of wise and wondrous activity. And etch this particular saying into your still plastic and craving-new-experiences brain:
You’re not slowing down because you’re getting old; you’re getting old because you’re slowing down.

Don’t opt out.
Retiring — if that’s what you want — could be a great thing. For my father retirement meant no more three-hour commutes, no more suits and ties, and no more being hated by everyone. (He was a Treasury Agent working for the IRS. Need I say more?) In his retirement, which stretched close to 30 years, he loved playing the stock market, playing tennis, wearing Brando-esque wife beaters paired 30-year-old, baggy brown trousers and eating Mounds bars. Who am I to say that wasn’t a meaningful life?

My own personal bar is set higher. I want to make a bigger, more consequential contribution during the third third of my life than I’ve been able to do previously. At the very least, I want to remain in the thick of it. Decades of credible research point to three habits/ attributes that distinguish the world’s oldest healthiest people from the rest of us: they eat mostly plant-based diets; they are physically active; they continue to be full, active and valued contributors to their communities.

Which brings me to my third piece of anti-aging, pro-wellness advice for mid-life and beyond: Don’t segregate yourself. Gated communities, retirement communities, resort communities…why circumscribe your world by living only with your “own kind.” We stay youthful and vibrant – and interesting – by exposing ourselves to new adventures, new ways of thinking, new people.

Research has consistently revealed the phenomenon of “environmental aging,” – which, no, is not toxicity in the environment making you older and unhealthier (although yes, it does). “Environmental aging” is the documented biological aging of those who surround themselves with chronologically/ biologically old people. Women who marry much older men, for example, accelerate their own biological aging. “Old” mothers who hang around and participate fully in the life and culture of being a younger mother are biologically younger than their age. Think about that when you make a decision to live in an age-segregated community.

Don’t always look back. Don’t assume your best years are behind you. Don’t assume because you haven’t yet done something, you can’t do it. Remembering and reminiscing is fine. And processing the past is an important part of growing into the next phase of your life – but so is looking ahead with curiosity, energy and excitement. In fact, that is the definition of a youthful, counterclockwise life.