Stack the deck in your favor

“What’s all that?” the woman I was sitting next to at breakfast last week asked.  She was referring to the small pile of pills on my placemat.  I started to explain.

     “This one is a multi-vitamin,” I said, popping it in my mouth. She nodded.  “And this one is extra calcium.”

     “Oh,” she said, shaking her head, “my bones are just great.  I don’t need that.”  She was a (chronologically) 60-ish, smallish white woman, so I kind of doubted that.  But I said, “That’s great.  So when did you last have a bone density scan?”  She’d never had one, it turned out.  Her bones were “great” because she’d never broken any.

     “Most of the rest of these are supplements are to boost immunity and bolster heart health,” I told her, as I swallowed a B vitamin, a D, turmeric, Alpha-lipoic acid, L-carnitine and CoQ10. 

     “Oh, I’m healthy,” she told me, adding – with a mixture of personal pride and, it seemed, concern for me — “I don’t need to take any of that.”

     “I’m healthy too,” I said (attempting – I am afraid unsuccessfully – not to be defensive).  “You know,” I added (trying – I am afraid unsuccessfully — not to sound all lecture-y), “It’s easier to preserve health than it is to come back from disease.”

     Well, she wasn’t buying that one either.  “My mother is 93,” she said, “so I ‘m not too worried.”

     I finished taking my pills, washed down with double-strength green tea, and tucked into my usual breakfast of Greek yogurt, blueberries and almonds.  Here’s what I didn’t say:

     My grandmother lived to 94 and died in her own bed, her only illnesses being a mild case of diverticulitis and a dry eye problem solved with nightly drops.  She was of sound mind and body – and especially spirit – until she died in her sleep.  My great grandmother (aka “Old Oldie,” who, readers will recall, shows up in Counterclockwise) lived past 100, descending three flights of stairs every morning to bake breakfast breads for the family.  Until the morning she didn’t.  My mother, recipient of this amazing genetic heritage, died at 77 after being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s five years before.

     Which is to say:  It’s a blessing to have healthy, long-lived relatives. It is a blessing not a guarantee of your own health.  Being an active participant in your own health – especially when you are healthy – is not a guarantee either.  I know that.  Shit happens.  But you can stack the deck in your own favor by accepting responsibility for your wellness.  That’s what I wanted to tell the woman who sat next to me at breakfast.