Isolation

My mother inherited great genes. Her mother lived a vibrant, socially engaged life until — upbeat, chatty and disease-free — she died in her sleep at age 94. My mother’s great grandmother, known as “Old Oldie,” was the stuff of family legend, a woman who, it is said, awoke before dawn every day, braided her long white hair, wrapped the coils around her head and walked down three flights of stairs (her bedroom was in the attic) to bake biscuits or rolls for breakfast. Until the day she didn’t. She had died in her sleep. She was 97. Or 102. It depended on who was telling the story.

My mother was 77 when she died. In a care facility. Of Alzheimer’s.

Forgive me if this sounds clinical, but my mother was a poster child for Lifestyle Trumps Genes. We usually think of Lifestyle Trumps Genes as taking purposeful, healthy steps to blunt or negate the ills our parents suffered so as to avoid the same “fate.” Her life was the reverse.

My mother smoked. A lot. She drank. More than enough. She was sedentary. But maybe more importantly, or at least new research is suggesting just as importantly, she was socially isolated. She was deep-down lonely.

The new research I’m referring to, conducted by psychologists at Brigham Young University, suggests that social connections (or lack thereof) ought to be added to the short list of lifestyle factors that significantly shorten life.

Well, a lot more than “suggests.” The meta-study – an analysis of 70 studies conducted between 1980 and 2014, including more than 3 million participants – found that social isolation increased the likelihood of premature death by 29 percent. Loneliness increased the risk 26 percent. The data included information regarding loneliness, social isolation and living alone. The analysis controlled for variables such as age, gender, socioeconomic status and pre-existing health conditions. The researchers concluded that social isolation heightened risk for mortality more than obesity, a much studied, widely implicated risk factor. “We need to start taking our social relationships more seriously,” said the lead author of the study.

My mother did not live out in the woods somewhere. Isolation is not about geography. It is about lack of connection and meaningful interaction. My mother did not live alone. Loneliness is not about living alone. It is about lack of connection and meaningful interaction. She made choices or failed to make choices or waited to have choices made for her that constricted her life and may very well have shortened it, perhaps by two decades. I realize this sounds as if I am blaming her for her illness. I am not. I am saying that we all have responsibility for our well-being.

Growing up, I thought good health and longevity were my birthright. I don’t think that anymore.