Ditch “The Rule”
Here it is today, short and sweet:
Why, when we encounter or read about a vibrant, curious, active, creatively alive older person is that person “the exception that proves the rule.” Because, as we all know, “the rule” is old equals cranky, crabby, frail, sedentary, sexless, useless. And the rule abides.
Why, when we acknowledge that an old person is (you choose): a productive documentary filmmaker (Frederick Wiseman, 84), a brilliant naturalist (E.O. Wilson, 85), an astonishing modern artist (Carmen Herrera, 99), a #1 Billboard entertainer (Tony Bennett, 88) , an avant-garde dancer and teacher (Anna Halprin, 94) are these interesting, engaged, productive, still-growing people all “exceptions that prove the rule” – the rule being getting older sucks and nothing good will come of it and your best days are behind you.
Isn’t it time we consider that these “exceptions” actually challenge the rule? Isn’t it time we reconsider what aging means – or can mean – if we remain curious and open to experience, if we work to keep ourselves strong and healthy, if we stop buying into “the rule?” Time to ditch the damn rule. Read this elegant little essay by Lewis Lapham (who will be 80 this January) with accompanying portraits in last Sunday’s New York Times magazine. And think of each one of the “Old Masters” profiled in the story as examples of – not exceptions to – aging.
6 comments
Lovely, Lauren. I once read an article, I think it was in AARP, that had a real impact on me. The author was objecting to the use of the word “still” when referring to older people. One actor was “still” acting, another older person was “still” vibrant as if it was a surprise to see old farts “still” productive and engaged. If this was an expectation rather than an exception we’d all be a lot better off.
Really good point, Gayle.
Absolutely, Lauren! When people complain about being old because of aches and pains, I say, “Doesn’t bother me. When I was young, I had PMS, periods, cramps–monthly! We just swapped a few bodily things.”
Our passions keep us alive and vibrant. We can reinvent ourselves forever. Ditch the misconceptions.
Yesyesyes, Valerie. It is ALL about feeding our curiosity and staying engaged in the world.
I never understand why society expects us to become boring, sexless beings who become less involved in the world as we age. Shouldn’t we become more like ourselves rather than less as we get older?
Yesyesyes. I cannot agree with you more.
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