Occupation or vocation?

How do you spend your working hours – in an occupation or at a vocation? An occupation – something that occupies us or we occupy it — is employment. We do it because it makes use of our skills, because we were trained to do it, because at some point an opportunity presented itself and we took it and the path led in this direction, because it was what was available at the time, because it was what was expected of us, because the hours were good, because it paid well (or enough). We choose and occupy our occupations for all kinds of reasons, many of them good and sensible, but none of them from the heart.

I am not saying that we don’t love our occupations. Many of us do. I’m not saying that we don’t bring our best game to work. Many of us do. I am saying that we don’t bring our deepest selves. Our deepest selves emerge when we are engaged in our vocation.

A vocation is what we do because we have to, because we were wired for it, called to it, because we don’t feel whole or truly ourselves unless we do it. That sounds high falutin’, I know. But I also know it’s true, whether one’s “calling” (the derivation of vocation…vocare, to call) is nursing the elderly or growing tomatoes or fixing cars.

Some people craft a life in which occupation and vocation are the same. I have tried hard to do this as both a writer and a teacher of writing. But the truth is, one is an occupation, and the other is my vocation. I bring energy, commitment and creativity to both. I learn and grow from both, and my goal is for others to also learn and grow.

But it’s clear where my heart lies, where my deepest self is engaged. Years ago I took a full-year sabbatical from my teaching position, and the absence of teaching did not leave a hole in my life. I felt just like me, only not teaching. But during those down times between writing projects when I am not actively working on something, I feel not quite me, not quite whole, untethered. My brain doesn’t work as well. My focus isn’t as sharp. Things are not quite okay even when everything else in my life is just fine. Maybe it’s this simple: Writing is who I am; teaching is what I do.

What are you doing when you are the most deeply engaged? Are occupation and vocation different for you?