Category — Living Counterclockwise

Here it is today, short and sweet:

Why, when we encounter or read about a vibrant, curious, active, creatively alive older person is that person “the exception that proves the rule.” Because, as we all know, “the rule” is old equals cranky, crabby, frail, sedentary, sexless, useless. And the rule abides.

Why, when we acknowledge that an old person is (you choose): a productive documentary filmmaker (Frederick Wiseman, 84), a brilliant naturalist (E.O. Wilson, 85), an astonishing modern artist (Carmen Herrera, 99), a #1 Billboard entertainer (Tony Bennett, 88) , an avant-garde dancer and teacher (Anna Halprin, 94) are these interesting, engaged, productive, still-growing people all “exceptions that prove the rule” – the rule being getting older sucks and nothing good will come of it and your best days are behind you.

Isn’t it time we consider that these “exceptions” actually challenge the rule? Isn’t it time we reconsider what aging means – or can mean – if we remain curious and open to experience, if we work to keep ourselves strong and healthy, if we stop buying into “the rule?”  Time to ditch the damn rule. Read this elegant little essay by Lewis Lapham (who will be 80 this January) with accompanying portraits in last Sunday’s New York Times magazine. And think of each one of the “Old Masters” profiled in the story as examples of – not exceptions to – aging.

I’ve been thinking lot lately about finding the ease in the effort.  This is what my supremely talented Barre3 instructor, Summer Spinner, (yes, her real name) says as we are holding the most challenging pose of the morning.  It’s that pose that requires every muscle – including those you never knew you had – to fire.  There’s a way of achieving this by tensing everything, from inner thigh to outer glute, from multiple layers of abdominals to the entire back body.  When I first find my way to this pose, here’s what happens:  My neck tenses, my shoulders lift and my face scrunches up.  Then I hear Summer say, “now find the ease in the effort,” and the entire posture changes for me.  I release my neck and slide my shoulders down.  I untense my face.  I close my eyes.  I take that breath that I didn’t realize I was holding.  And everything goes deeper. “Ease” is not what I’d call it because all those muscles are still very busy.  It’s more a place of stability, almost peace —  “the calm within the chaos,” which is another thing Summer says.

I know I know.  You’re reading that and thinking:  Spare me the New Age hoo-ha.  But really, I am here to tell you, this is important stuff.  I’m not just talking about what happens for me in a Barre3 class. I’m talking about the bigger lesson I am learning because of this.  I am talking about an attitude, an approach to counterclockwise living.

Finding the ease in the effort is, for example, a way to change that demanding, insistent, relentless self-talk (I am going to eat an anti-aging diet, damn it, with 8 cups of veggies and 4 ounces of lean protein and nothing white ever — except cauliflower) to a calmer, saner, happier I am going to enjoy and delight in healthy, mindful eating.  It’s a way to change I am going to put in my 3 days a week of cardio and my 3 days a week of weights and remember to stretch at least 15 minutes, damn it to I am going to live in my body and enjoy and delight in physical activity.

When you try so hard, the trying takes over.  It becomes all about trying, and what you are doing and how you are experiencing what you are doing is lost in the effort and the sweat and the scrunched up face. Believe me.  I know.  This is one of most challenging lessons I am trying to learn.  (But trying to not try so hard.) I am so surprised that finding the ease in the effort is so much harder than finding the effort.

Here’s what Mikhail Baryshnikov has to say on this subject:  “It is harder to be relaxed on stage than to produce high powered virtuosity.” Think on that.

Because Fall is my favorite season,, and because I feel I must make a case for it given the whole but everything is dying and the weather is turning crappy and vacation time is over litany I hear from autumn-detractors…I hereby declare that Fall is absolutely the very best counterclockwise season.*

My reasons are simple and, if I do say so myself, compelling.

1. Soup. Fall is the season of soup. In fact, I just made my first soup of the season yesterday: mushroom barley from the very first Moosewood cookbook. (Secret ingredient: tamari) I also adore a later Moosewood recipe for black bean soup. (Secret ingredient: dried apricots) If you make soup yourself, you get the pleasure of the cooking – contemplative, anti-stress, much chopping of veggies and fragrant sautéing of onions and garlic — plus the pleasure of the eating. Not to mention the deep pleasure knowing that you are nourishing both body and soul because, “Chicken Soup for the Soul” notwithstanding, there is an alchemy to soup. It is magic elixir in a bowl.

Also…It’s difficult (and dangerous!) to consume hot soup quickly. This is a real benefit. Eating slowly not only increases enjoyment and creates a greater window for kitchen-table interaction, it allows the sensors in your stomach to communicate to the brain that you are getting full. All good news for the counterclockwise lifestyle.

2. Flannel sheets. Fall is the season of flannel sheets, whisper soft against the skin, warmed immediately by the body, deeply, satisfyingly sensuous. (I just changed my sheets yesterday – while waiting for the onions, garlic and mushrooms to sauté, in fact.) Flannel sheets on an autumn-cool night: the best. I take that back. Flannel sheets on an autumn-cool night with the rain shushing and hissing outside…that’s the best.

What does this have to do with an invigorated, weller-than-well counterclockwise lifestyle? Good, restful, deep sleep, that’s what. Significant research links good sleep with health in general, with disease prevention, resilience, weight control and other hallmarks of anti-aging.

So stop mourning the end of summer with all that skin-aging, cataract-causing sunshine! Embrace the fall.

*Alas, only for us northern hemisphere folks who live in places with four seasons

I’m sorry. I lied.

Last week I wrote that there was no one “big thing,” no single secret to living a healthy, weller-than-well counterclockwise life. I said that “the small stuff” was all there was. Let me amend that.

The small, everyday choices we make (or don’t), ARE important. Consider the excellent list of small actions taken by several readers who responded to last week’s post.

But, truthfully, there are a few BIG-ticket items, one-off significant changes that can make a huge difference in how and how quickly (or slowly) we age. The obvious one is smoking. Quitting smoking is probably the single most important health decision a person can make. But I am betting that none of you reading this are smokers, so let’s move on. Here are my top 5 BIG things. (And I promise never to lie to you again).

1. Eat breakfast. You wake up your metabolism and signal your body that you don’t intend to continue starving it. (Remember, you just fasted for 8 or 9 or 10 hours. Your body is now concerned. If you don’t deal with that concern in the morning, your body will want to store as many of the calories contained in the next meal you eat as fat – to guard against starvation.) If you’ve never heard of the Sumo Wrestler’s “Diet,” this is how it works: Starve the body all day, then eat all your calories at once. Then go to sleep. That’s how Sumo Wrestler’s put on all that weight. They DON’T eat 7000 calories a day. They eat a moderate 2500-3500. At one meal. Of course, breakfast is nutrient-dense, protein-rich, calorie-controlled. Greek yogurt, blueberries and chopped almonds, for example. Sorry, pan au chocolat n’est pas bien.

2. Trade your desk for a standing desk (or even a treadmill desk). Sitting is the new smoking! Sitting for hours negates the fitness benefits of the time you spend in the gym or the lovely long walk you took with your dog. I’m sorry. It’s true. Proceedings of the Mayo Clinic just reported that, for every hour of sitting, you wipe out 14 percent of the health benefits of one hour of exercise. That means 7 hours of sitting puts you back at square one.

3. Sleep 7 hours. Or, gasp, even 8 if you can manage it. (I can’t.) I’ve gotten along on 6 hours a night for years and years because I love early mornings but can’t seem to get in bed until 11 (and then read for a half hour). By “gotten along,” I mean I have the energy to do what I need and want to do during the day. But the health and antiaging benefits of 7-8 hours of sleep are undeniable.

4. Find and/ or cultivate a fitness buddy or posse. Friendships grounded in physical activity (as opposed to meeting up for drinks or dinner) are rich and rewarding, a fun way to stay on track, a great way to keep moving and stay accountable. When I hooked up with the Sweat Chicas, my fitness life got a HUGE boost.

5. Eat (mostly) plants.

I am my own worst enemy.

I am my harshest critic.

Have you ever said this about yourself? I have. And I am. And have been kind of proud of it. No one is harder on me than me, I proclaim. I can never please myself, I say, kind of pleased with myself for saying so. I’ve long thought of this as keen-eyed self-judgment and realistic (if harsh) self-assessment, the antidote to all that saccharine love yourself just the way you are/ forgive yourself psychobabble.

Oh, wait. It’s not psychobabble? It’s self-compassion? And it’s actually a healthy (not to mention counterclockwise) trait to nurture? Oops. Will I ever be able to forgive myself for not knowing this?

Self-compassion means recognizing and acknowledging your humanness, which is to say your imperfections and failings, and instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for these inadequacies or shortcomings, being kind and understanding. Things will not always go the way you want them to. You will make mistakes, bump up against your limitations, fall short of your ideals. Guess what? That’s called being human.

In relatively trivial counterclockwise lifestyle terms, this means: So what if you read a great book all weekend instead of sweating at the gym? Are you the worst person on earth because you inhaled a slab of Metropole Bakery carrot cake (just sayin)? Forgot sunscreen? Didn’t drink your 8 glasses of water? Blahblahblah. The time and energy you spend beating yourself up about these “failings” can – that’s right — age you!

It turns out that people who are kind to themselves suffer less stress and anxiety, which translates into less cortisol circulating in their system. Cortisol (the “stress hormone”) increases blood sugar, suppresses the immune system, decreases bone formation and is implicated in systemic inflammation. All bad. People who are stressed and anxious also have higher blood pressure and faster heart rates. Not good. Self-kindness is an anti-aging strategy!

Take this self-compassion test online, and see how you do. I took it, and I came close to flunking. Then I berated myself for my low self-compassion score, thereby showing my lack of self-compassion. Which does have a lovely circularity to it and would make a great New Yorker cartoon. However. Now I shall quit yelling at myself and attempt to embrace my flawed humanity. Or at least my rotten test score.

Thanks to Colleen McKillip, loyal reader and recipient of a free Counterclockwise audiobook, for suggesting this topic. I have another free download to offer to the next reader with a good suggestion for an idea I’ve yet to tackle. Pitch it to me as a “comment” to this post.

Everything I know about living counterclockwise I learned from my cat.

I could make a bundle publishing a book with that title, right? It appeals to that most lucrative, literate and thus far untapped demographic (you know who you are) of counterclockwise cat-lovers.

Alas, no book. Instead, I will give away all my insights for free right here. This is your lucky day. My cat is pretty excited too.

My cat, Sonny, is 15 years old. That’s 76 in people years. (fyi: A cat reaches the approximate human age of 15 during its first year, then 24 at age 2. Each year thereafter, it ages approximately four “cat years” for every calendar year.) He is alert, frisky, fighting-weight, clear-eyed, and soft-furred. From your typical sitting-on-haunches cat position, he can leap 3 feet in the air and nail a landing on the 4-inch wide porch railing. He sleeps soundly. He is happy (as evidenced by incessant purring).

What’s his secret? What does Sonny do right? As cats are said to have 9 lives, here are Sonny’s 9 counterclockwise strategies:

1. He grazes on high-quality, no-garbage food all day, eating a mouthful of food at a time, never a big meal.
2. He stays hydrated.
3. He gets ample physical activity that is integrated into his daily life.
4. He plays.
5. He pals around with someone much much younger than himself (my other cat, Simon, who is a human twentysomething).
6. He continues to challenge himself cognitively and physically by hunting (note semi-revolting pic of Sonny chewing bunny guts)

7. He is surrounded by a loving and supportive family.
8. He has a useful place in that family (well, as useful as cats get).
9. He is treated as ageless.

Now, here’s your reward for reading about my cat.

Counterclockwise was just published as an audio book on audible.com.  I am offering a FREE download to the first three of you who send me a good (new) idea for a future column for the blog. Just send as a “comment” to this post. The audio book is wonderful, btw, voiced by the very talented actor Hollis McCarthy.

I’m delighted to share this newest research on health and longevity, on how to live a counterclockwise life.

No, it’s not another superfood.

No, it’s not a new ultimate fitness regimen.

It’s not about fasting, detoxing, botoxing, hormones, enzymes, lotions, lasers or dead skin-eating fish.

It’s about – wait for it – living a life with a sense of purpose. A while back, I wrote about meeting a vigorous, energetic 92-year-old woman who does just that.

You may remember that I’ve also written about a related subject: how volunteering is a powerful anti-aging strategy. Several recent studies found evidence that those who volunteer — which gives them a sense of purpose — live longer than their non-philanthropic counterparts. I mentioned a 2013 study published in the journal Psychology and Aging that found that mid-life adults who volunteered about 4 hours a week were 40 percent less likely to develop high blood pressure 4 years later. Other studies discovered fewer health complaints, higher functional ability, less depression and anxiety, and less incidence of heart disease among volunteers than among matched sets of non-volunteers.

Now more good news in the same vein. Simply stated: People who live with a sense of purpose live longer. National Institute on Aging-funded research based on more than 6,000 mid-life people found that people with a sense of purpose had a 15 percent lower risk of death, compared to their more aimless counterparts. The Canadian researchers controlled for other factors known to affect longevity like gender, age and emotional and psychological well-being. Sense of purpose trumped them all.

And here’s additional good news: It didn’t appear to make a difference when these people found that purpose. It could have been in college. It could have been after retirement. You might be interested to know that “sense of purpose” is not limited to the grandiose – joining the Peace Corps, cleaning up a toxic river, working for a political or social movement. The researchers defined purpose as a “compass or lighthouse that provides an overarching aim and direction in day-to-day lives.”

It could be big, like working for social change. But it could also be intimate like ensuring the well-being of one’s family. Or it could be self-focused, like doing well on the job. Creativity could also give a person a sense of purpose and direction.

Exactly how purpose benefits health is not clear. It might be that individuals with a sense of purpose are also purposeful about their own health and so lead healthier lives than others. But a likely explanation – especially given the research on the health benefits of volunteering – is that sense of purpose increases self-esteem, happiness and optimism, all traits associated with a myriad of health benefits. The researchers hypothesize that a sense of purpose may protect against the harmful effects of stress, one of the great systemic agers.

All of which goes to prove that living a healthy, vigorous and long life is not about anti-aging fads and 7-day make-over promises. It is about building and enjoying a rich, purposeful life. With (dark) chocolate for dessert.

Many of us travel when we’re young, bumming around Europe in our 20s.  Some of us travel, later, and generally joylessly, for work. Others, like my in-laws, wait until they’re old to travel, booking passage on cruise ships and seeing selected port cities in a single afternoon.

We travel for many reasons: employment, enjoyment, enrichment, adventure. But traveling as an anti-aging strategy? Really?

Yes, really.

Like sipping a cappuccino or two (or three) a day or nibbling on dark chocolate, an anti-aging/ counterclockwise lifestyle means more than gym time, treadmill desks and Krunchy Kale. Actually, I love the gym. I love my new standing desk. About kale, krunchy or otherwise, the less said the better.

But the point is, it’s wrong to think of an anti-aging/ counterclockwise lifestyle as a series of must-dos, chores to tick off – from taking supplements to drinking 8 cups of water a day to getting in your 10,000 steps. A physically, intellectually and creatively youthful lifestyle is, well, fun.

I am writing this on a bus traveling from Parnu, a little town in Estonia, to Riga, the capital of Latvia that calls itself the “Paris of the Baltic.” On this trip, part business, part pleasure, I’ve spent time in Vienna, London, Stockholm, Tallinn and Parnu. After Riga I’ll have a week in Copenhagen before heading home.

Can traveling be physically tiring? Sure. It’s a chore to heft bags around. It’s sometimes hard to get a good night’s sleep in a strange bed in a strange town. Walking everywhere the way I do to explore a new place (sometimes up to 20 miles a day) is physically challenging.

So I get a work-out, which is great. But I can do that at home. The true anti-aging benefits of traveling are cognitive (both psychological and creative). Scientific research has demonstrated that travel can open up neurological pathways in our physical brains, benefitting – and, I would argue, counterclockwise-ing — our overall mental health in many ways.

We spend every day of our lives not only in a particular physical climate but also in a particular mental climate determined by our familiarity with our surroundings. Break the mental shackles caused by familiarity, and we open up a world of wider mental associations. We can’t operate on auto-pilot. We are suddenly, voraciously curious. We are a bit more daring. Our imagination takes flight as we attempt to make sense of, say, the Estonian language which seems to have more diacritical markings than it has vowels. Mental acuity, boldness, curiosity, hunger for experience, intellectual vitality, imagination — these are the markings of an energetic and youthful brain. These are the keys to an anti-aging attitude toward life. It’s not all about CoQ-10, Krunchy Kale and ab crunches. Not hardly.

Time is the strangest of measurements. We act as if it were precise: My flight is scheduled to arrive at 11:11. I run a mile in 9:19:32 (Yes, that slowly). I am instructed to steep my tea for 4.5 minutes.

But time is also utterly malleable. Consider the obvious. (Well, obvious if you’ve read Counterclockwise and/ or a number of posts on this site. Hint. Hint.) The measurement of your time on earth – your chronological age – is a precise number. It is the exact moment of your birth, noted diligently in hospital records. But that number does not measure your true age, the age of your body. That age – your biological age – as I have been arguing (and as the evolving science of aging clearly states) – can be considerably older or younger than your birth date age.

You can manipulate (biological) time. You can fast-forward it by –choose your poison — smoking, sitting on your butt, isolating yourself socially, handling stress poorly, eating Doritos. Or you can turn it back by being physically and intellectually active, nurturing relationships, eating healthy and staying engaged in the stuff of life.

That’s malleable time. Then there is the deep subjectivity of the experience of time. We often say – I say this, and feel this, all too frequently – that time has “speeded up” as I’ve gotten older. I don’t know where the day went, the week. Is it really almost summer…what happened to spring, to winter? How can my daughter have a driver’s license already? Where does the time go?

And it’s not like I live life in the fast lane, for goodness sakes. I’m a writer not a Wall Street trader. I live in the country not in the heart of Tokyo. But still, life speeds by.

…But not recently. Recently, time slowed for me in a wondrous way that is teaching me a good – and very different — counterclockwise lesson. Last week I accompanied one of my sons on the first three days of what for him will be a 3-month cross-country solo bicycle trip. Each of those three days was packed with experience: The crazy rain of day one, the sweet smell of wet hay, the flat tire, the hot chocolate. The 22 miles of switchbacks on day two, the rebel yell when we saw the 5000-foot elevation sign, the peanut butter and banana sandwich that was so good I almost cried. The warm central Oregon sun of day three, the straight-aways and unexpected steep hills, the long good-bye, the ride back to Sisters, solo.

Those days did not zip by. They played out slowly, with – and I know this doesn’t make much sense – languorous intensity. I went on this trip to spend special time with my son. I thought the challenge, and the lesson I would learn about myself, would be physical. I did learn about my strength and resilience. (And just how saturated water-proof clothing could get.) But I learned something more important. I learned that packing your life with challenges and seeking new experiences slows time. Those three days made me feel like a kid again. I remembered that time in my life when a week was a long, long time, when summer was forever. And so, during these three very special days, I moved the clock backward both by challenging my body and my psyche.

She holds 26 world records in track and field, and has earned more than 500 medals. She long jumps, high jumps, throws the hammer and sprints the 100m and 200m. Throughout her almost 20-year athletic career, she has been one of the most outstanding competitors on the international circuit.

She is retired Vancouver, B.C. school teacher Olga Kotelko, and she celebrated her 95th birthday last month.

She began her competitive career at age 77.

So please, save the “I’m too old to _________” for someone who will buy that malarkey. Because Olga won’t. And neither will I.

I watched an interview with Olga a few days ago, a rebroadcast of a show Jian Ghomeshi aired back in February. Olga, who is tiny but anything but frail, has the posture, affect and vitality of a woman 30+ years younger. She looks maybe 70 – a well taken-care-of 70 – and has the slightest of old lady tremors in her voice, which you immediately forget once she starts speaking. When people are old and full of energy, we call them “feisty,” which seems to be a kind of left-handed compliment (apologies to south paws on this). Olga isn’t feisty. She is a simple, plain-spoken, no-nonsense spirited and energetic woman who is completely matter-of-fact about her health, strength and resilience, not to mention her astonishing array of awards and medals.

So what’s with Olga? Is she a freak of nature, a woman so genetically blessed, such an outlier that us mere mortals can learn very little from her? Or is she so obsessed with her own health and 24/7 commitment to the counterclockwise life that she clocks long hours of serious gym time every day, loads up on supplements, takes hormones and lives a strict Superfoods diet?

The answer to all those questions is a resounding no.

When scientists studied Olga, looking at her genes and investigating her family history, they found “good” but “not extraordinary” genes. They concluded that she was enjoying the fruits of a lifetime of good choices and circumstances, beginning with an active, rural childhood that has been constantly reinforced by a straight-forward can-do attitude.

What lifestyle choices has she made, an earnest Jian asked her half-way through the interview. “Oh,” said Olga, “I’ve never given much thought to all that. I just wake up and do what I do, day after day.” (Readers of my book, Counterclockwise, will note the similarity of spirit expressed by my great-great grandmother, Old Oldie.)

Not to be deterred, Jian asked how much she exercised, noting this was one of the keys to continued vitality. “I don’t know, said Olga. “I can’t answer that because really I am never idle. I do so much that gets me out of the chair.” Olga gardens, bowls and loves water exercise. Of course she trains, but this is just an add-on to her naturally active life. She watches only an hour of television a day (Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy, if you need to know), but views this as important regenerative times as she lies down with her legs elevated at 45-degree angle.

What’s your “secret,” Jian persisted. Olga paused for a moment, as if pondering a question she’d never considered. “Well,” she said, “I keep at it. I enjoy it. And I don’t stop. “

“What if people are shocked when they find out how old you are?” Jian asked. Olga laughed.

“That’s their problem,” she said.